Posts Tagged ‘Think Progress’

Next on the Agenda: Putting Lead Back into Paint

June 30, 2010

This is what Yellowstone will look like if the Tea Partiers get their way.

Maybe Nevada’s Republican Senate candidate Sharron Angle got bit on the ass by a squirrel once or something, but she must really not be a fan of nature. During an interview on ResistNet, she attacked her opponent Harry Reid for supporting the Mining in the Parks Act, a law currently that prohibits mining in National Parks.

And how would this rising Tea Party star solve America’s energy needs? By deregulating the oil and mining industries.

Considering BP’s still-gushing oil volcano and the recent explosion in a Massey coal mine that killed 29 workers, Angle’s energy policy makes me think that if she were running for office in the 80’s, she would have used the Chernobyl disaster to advocate for deregulating the nuclear industry.

Here are a few little tidbits to think about while pondering Angle’s deregulation proposal…

The Denver Post reported this week that “Oil and gas companies reported almost 1,000 spills to Colorado regulators over the past 2 1/2 years, totaling 5.2 million gallons of drilling liquids and oil.” Wow, that sounds messier than Rush Limbaugh at an Old Country Buffet. I bet with Chairman Maobama in power, those oil companies really got a smack down that would have made Hugo Chavez proud… oh, actually, all those spills have only resulted in two fines totally $650,000. Shit – Lil’ Wayne could have paid off those fines without even going to the bank.

"Hi, I'm here to pay off that oil spill fine. One of my molars should cover it."

So, are the candidates in the Colorado’s governor race talking about cracking down on this dangerous behavior by oil companies and maybe even using legitimate regulatory enforcement to pull in much-needed revenues to Colorado’s economy though legitimate fines?

Nope – both candidates actually seem to be begging the fossil fuel industry to treat the Rocky Mountain State like the floor of a Jiffy Lube. Just the other day, the Colorado Independent reported that Democratic candidate John Hickenlooper proposed relaxing regulations on pit liners that hold toxic waste water contaminated by the fracking process of natural gas drilling.

If that sound kind of like letting a baby with diarrhea sleep on your bed without a diaper… it’s actually a lot worse than that. According to an AP report that came out this week, “Compounds associated with neurological problems or other serious health effects are among the chemicals being used to drill natural gas wells.”

Well, to be fair, that report only looked at chemicals used to drill for natural gas in Pennsylvania. I’m sure if Colorado wants to protect itself from people getting “neurological problems” from chemicals associated with natural gas drilling, it would just pass some regulations to protect it’s citizens from… oh, that’s right – regulations are unpopular because people who wear hats decorated with tea-bags don’t like them…

Screw it. Shit like this is pretty cool, so what kind of unpatriotic treehugger would want to regulate the energy industry, anyway?

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Teapublicans Want You to Bomb the Capitol Building (Metaphorically, of course)

April 25, 2010

The new face of the Republican Party is pretty creepy... but its definitely an improvement over Dick Cheney.

Ever since the election of America’s first black president, Republican leaders and pundits have been invoking some pretty dubious role models. Texas Rep. Pete Sessions compared Republicans to the Taliban. Sean Hannity called a gathering of Tea Partiers “a bunch of Tim McVeigh wannabes” and they responded with wild applause. Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachman organized an anti-health care reform rally on Guy Fawkes Day last year, where she described her followers as “insurgents” and urged these “freedom fighters” to storm the Capitol building to “scare” members of Congress.

Now, some might find it hypocritical for Bachman, a woman who has received more than $250,000 in welfare checks (in the form of corn and dairy subsidies for her family farm), to choose Guy Fawkes as the mascot for her anti-government crusade. Fawkes, after all, was a “terrorist” who was executed for attempting to detonate 36 barrels of gunpowder beneath the UK Parliament with the King and all the noble aristocrats inside.

Guy Fawkes: Hero of the Left or Paleo-Teabagger?

However, Bachman did resign from a school board over controversy involving the movie Alladin promoting “witchcraft;” belonged to a church that thought the Pope was “the anti-Christ;” and recently advocated armed revolution in response to Obama’s energy policy, so the Fawkes thing actually rates pretty low on the Bachman Wack-o-meter.

Anyhoo, getting back to the point, the Republican Governors Association just unveiled a new campaign called “Remember November” that not only rips off its title from the Guy Fawkes legend, but uses the famous “V” logo created by Alan Moore for his Fawkes-inspired comic book “V for Vendetta” (the “V” is subtly inserted into the word “NoVember” at the end of the video.)

Are they serious? It was silly when RNC chairman Michael Steele was co-opting dated rap lingo to sell an “off-the-hook” “hip-hop makeover” for the GOP, but this is just ridiculous. I knew that RGA President and Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour was looney tunes when he said that not mentioning slavery in a proclamation about Confederate History Month “doesn’t matter for diddly,” but now he’s running a campaign that’s culture-jacking from Alan Moore – a vegetarian, anarchist pagan?!

Alan Moore: Serpent-Worshipping Hermit or the Next Karl Rove?

Plus, people dressed up like the “V” character were a staple at anti-Bush rallies for years. Republicans can’t steal this from left-wingers – that would be like if progressives started wearing tri-corner hats at street protests or if Glenn Greenwald wore a bow tie during his next MSNBC appearance. Some lines you don’t want to cross.

And, frankly, this is unfair. Right-wingers have so many action heroes to choose from. They made Arnold Schwarzenegger a governor. Chuck Norris was Mike Huckabee’s body-guard/confidant. Sylvester Stallone has recruited a whole horde of washed-up ‘roid-heads for a new anti-Hugo Chavez movie. Besides the blue guy from Avatar and Matt Damon, what kind of ass-kickers do the left have? Emma Goldman?

Instead of co-opting V for Vendetta, here’s a list of movies that I think would be more appropriate for the Teapublicans to use for their next campaign:

Grumpy Old Men
Why: Self-explanatory.

The Wrestler
Why: I think a lot of Tea Partiers should be able to relate to Mickey Rourke’s character: a creepy, over-the-hill white guy who is addicted to pain-killers (like Republican patron saint Rush Limbaugh).

300
Why: The violent, xenophobic nature of… actually, forget it. I don’t want to any super-sized wingnuts running around in loincloths and capes.

Groundhog Day
Why: Because Republicans always make the same mistakes over and over again (failed imperial military adventures; driving up the Federal budget after the say they’re going to “shrink government”; passing “family values” laws and then getting busted for gay affairs and/or soliciting sex workers; etc.)

A Day Without a Mexican
Why: I don’t think they would like the actual movie, but the GOP’s widespread support for Arizona’s new law that makes having brown skin probable cause for arrest indicates that most Republicans are supportive of this concept.

Road Warrior
Why: Mel Gibson, ultra-violent militias and everyone is obsessed with fossil fuel. ‘Nuff said.

OK, since I’ve given all this free advice to the Republicans, I really owe at least once suggestion to the Democrats. If the Dems decide to base a new campaign on movie, I think it should be…

The New Star Wars Trilogy
Why: It didn’t live up to the hype, it was hard for fans to follow the plot, and it didn’t close Guantanamo, just like the Obama Administration, so far…

"Yeah, I know I said I was going to ban corporate lobbyists from working in my administration, but if you don't quit bugging me about that I'll slice your arm off!"