Vladimir Putin is the Real Slim Shady


Move, comrade, get out the way.

Don’t call it a comeback, he’s been here for years. Everybody knows that Vladimir Putin is an OG. Homeboy put in work for the KGB and then Al Caponed his way to the top of Russia’s crooked oligarchy after the USSR fell apart like a cheap hair weave.

But last week the Russian Prime Minister “rubbed shoulders with rappers and was hailed with ‘respect’ in a televised concert. Haters are suggesting that the event that took place inside an abandoned Moscow factory building was just a publicity stunt to boost P-Vladdy’s ratings among the youth, but they ain’t saying nothing to Ol’ Dirty Vladster’s face.

No they ain’t.

Just like Trick Daddy, Putin says he just doing it for the kids. “I do not think that ‘top-rock’ or ‘down-rock’ breakdance technique is compatible with alcohol or drugs,” Putin told cheering hip-hoppers who responded with chants of “Respect, Vladimir Vladimirovich”. Respect.

So now that LL Cool Vlad is taking the advice that RNC Chairman Michael Steele gave to the GOP last summer about getting a hip-hop makeover, what  can we expect to see from this thuggish ruggish Russian.

  • Using the “I am T-Pain” iPhone app to auto-tune his speeches
  • Order more drive-bys on human rights workers and journalists
  • Joining the Wu-Tang Clan
  • Giving a shout out on the next Weezy mixtape
  • Tearing the roof off the muthafuckin Kremlin

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