Archive for November, 2009

SF Cops Are Shutting Down Parties And It’s Not Just Because They Think Dubstep is Kinda Played Out

November 19, 2009

If the police are gonna bust DJs, can they at least go after on the ones that play really bad trance?

First, they came for your fajitas. Now, they want your J. Dilla records.

The SF Weekly just posted a story today about how cops are busting into parties and fundraisers and ganking people’s laptops and sound systems. When I first heard about this, I got really angry. Like how I get when I hear that someone was brutally murdered and it wasn’t Glenn Beck.

It just seemed so ridiculous and unjust that in a city plagued with dozens of unsolved murders every year the cops would focus on busting up little dance parties. Every night, the streets are crawling with junkies breaking into cars, bike thieves and much worse, yet the po-po’s decide to crack down  on consenting adults who want to have a few drinks and listen to loud music after the bars close (we’re not talking about epic raves filled with 14-year-old ecstasy fiends and Special K zombies here).

And this type of “enforcement” is obviously highly selective – you know they would never dream of busting into an “unpermitted” late night party in a Pacific Heights mansion and confiscate every laptop in the house.

But then, I saw this story about a cop tazing a 10-year-old girl in Arkansas – and his chief defending it. And then I saw this other story about Detoit cops stealing millions of dollars from innocent people. And then I saw this article in the Guardian about how SF’s new police chief is probably looking to reduce the power of the Office of Citizen Complaints… and I wasn’t so angry anymore. Just hungry…. Hungry for revenge!

Who wants to bust into a cop party with me and steal all their donuts?!

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Vladimir Putin is the Real Slim Shady

November 16, 2009
putin_move

Move, comrade, get out the way.

Don’t call it a comeback, he’s been here for years. Everybody knows that Vladimir Putin is an OG. Homeboy put in work for the KGB and then Al Caponed his way to the top of Russia’s crooked oligarchy after the USSR fell apart like a cheap hair weave.

But last week the Russian Prime Minister “rubbed shoulders with rappers and was hailed with ‘respect’ in a televised concert. Haters are suggesting that the event that took place inside an abandoned Moscow factory building was just a publicity stunt to boost P-Vladdy’s ratings among the youth, but they ain’t saying nothing to Ol’ Dirty Vladster’s face.

No they ain’t.

Just like Trick Daddy, Putin says he just doing it for the kids. “I do not think that ‘top-rock’ or ‘down-rock’ breakdance technique is compatible with alcohol or drugs,” Putin told cheering hip-hoppers who responded with chants of “Respect, Vladimir Vladimirovich”. Respect.

So now that LL Cool Vlad is taking the advice that RNC Chairman Michael Steele gave to the GOP last summer about getting a hip-hop makeover, what  can we expect to see from this thuggish ruggish Russian.

  • Using the “I am T-Pain” iPhone app to auto-tune his speeches
  • Order more drive-bys on human rights workers and journalists
  • Joining the Wu-Tang Clan
  • Giving a shout out on the next Weezy mixtape
  • Tearing the roof off the muthafuckin Kremlin