You’ll Never Need to Eat Your Words if Your Mouth is Already Full of Raw Baby Seal Heart

"I've never seen an unflattering photo of Michaëlle Jean. She's gorgeous even with seal blood dripping from her lips." -Margaret Wente, The Globe and Mail

"I've never seen an unflattering photo of Michaëlle Jean. She's gorgeous even with seal blood dripping from her lips." -Margaret Wente, The Globe and Mail

Remember last year when conservatives were giving Obama crap for admitting he eats arugula? This is the exact opposite of that:

From BBC News:

“Canada’s governor general, Michaelle Jean, has helped to butcher and eat a seal in an apparent act of solidarity with hunters. Ms Jean used a traditional Inuit knife to help gut the animal then ate a slice of raw heart. It came weeks after the EU voted to ban Canadian seal products, but Ms Jean did not say if her actions were in response to the EU proposals.”

I hadn’t heard of Michaelle Jean before she gobbled the seal heart, and I don’t even kow what a “governor general” does, other than represent the English monarchy  in Canada somehow, but I think there is a good lesson here that all politicians, all leaders, could learn from: Talk is cheap, prove yourself with actions.

We all know that politicians are masters of telling people what they want to hear. They all want to show you how much they “feel your pain” (In the words of Bill Clinton) by listening to your stories, nodding empathetically, and promising that they will stand up for you. Of course, reality has proven time and time again that virtually all politicians are hypocrites willing to sell out everything that was supposedly sacred to them in order to get re-elected or just cover their own asses when times get tough. Sometimes they hypocrisy isn’t even for political reasons, like the countless Republicans who have run on family values issues only to be revealed later as undercover crack-smoking queens.

What kind of a clueless Elmer Fudd really believes politicians about anything?

Here’s the point: If I’m a Canadian professional baby seal clubber, and everyone (even Morrissey) treats me like a piece of crap, but then a politician comes along, sits down next to me, slices open a fucking seal carcass, rips out a raw chunk of seal heart and down that shit like it was a Pop-Tart… I would feel like I had just met a politician that I could trust, or, at least give a chance.

On a side note, while I don’t support baby seal clubbing, if you’re one of those folks who gets all uppity about it,  sending around horrific videos to get people to sign your online petition or whatever and you’re NOT a vegetarian: then, like most politicians, you should also shut up and speak with your actions. Personally, I would much rather live the short, fanciful life of a seal pup and get bashed in the head than the inhumane, unnatural life of a cow or pig confined to a Concentrated Animal Feeding Operation (CAFO) on a typical factory farm. However, if I really had my choice, I would be one of those Japanese cows that get pampered with beer and massages.

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One Response to “You’ll Never Need to Eat Your Words if Your Mouth is Already Full of Raw Baby Seal Heart”

  1. sillionshine Says:

    Living in one of the few (if not the only) countries which eats the animals on its national crest, even Australians (already a notoriously free-speaking bunch) must be impressed by Jean’s bold display.

    In this cynical climate where voters distrust any effort by politicians to highlight extra dimensions to their character, what could be less spin-doctored than a blade, a beating heart and blood-stained snow?

    Policticians of other countries shouldn’t hesitate to jump on this bandwagon. I would love to see Obama deliver the State of the Union address resplendent in red white and blue bib, in between mouthfuls of bald eagle.

    I think he could pull it off. I can see him in the post-address press conference, sitting with hands steepled, one leg slung casually over the other, fielding questions. “Rare?”, he would say, with trademark beaming smile, “No, I thought they were more Well Done.”

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